The Earthly Arena

The Spirit speaks to me through numbers so when I got this message it seemed pretty obvious to me that this is real.

1093 gḗ – properly, the physical earth; the "arena" we live in which operates in space and time which God uses to prepare us for eternity.

The physical earth (1093 /gḗ) is the temporary, probationary place to live out moral preferences "through the body," i.e. as free moral agents (cf. 2 Cor 5:1-10).  In this way, God makes an eternal record of everything we do on the earth.  Through faith, each scene of life becomes equally, eternally significant (cf. Mt 13:31,32,17:20; cf. also Lk 16:10; Lk 17:6; 2 Pet 1:1).

[The OT Hebrew term, 776 /asitía ("earth"), also refers to the physical earth as "God's arena" – "the physical theater" in which our eternal destiny freely plays out.]

 

 The ancient people knew that the sky was a dome and we were stuck in this little section, that we call “earth” but I do not believe that’s where we’re actually at. Anyways, I believe this is a test. If it’s a test are you getting a golden ticket? Every moment counts. Every second counts. Are you going to live or die? Be a hero or a villain? It matters. You matter. This matters. Be the change. Be the love. ♥️ 

Belly of the Beast— 666 😈

Like stop posting about the Mark of the Beast. We were BORN in it. Our body is the beast.

 6 Protons

6 Neutron

6 Electron

Then we are born on our father. The belly of the beast— just like on Guardians of the Galaxy. They explain it like this;

  “In an interview with Complex, the film's director James Gunn gave some insight to who Ego is in Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2. According to Gunn, Russell's Ego "is a living planet who is able to manifest himself in different ways." For millions of years, Ego's been alone, but he made good use of his time by learning to control the organic molecules of the gas, which now allows him to take human or planetary form whenever he chooses. When human, Ego just so happens to look a lot like Russell.”

https://www.bustle.com/p/how-does-egos-expansion-work-in-guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-it-sounds-like-a-real-doozy-55100

 

And if they wanted to “chip” us.. your carrying around your big ass chip and lookin at it right now reading this, Lol.

The end of the world is happening. God channels to me everyday telling me to stand alone and stand tall. Fight the good fight. Spread love, be nice, do the right thing... but don’t shut out your darkness. Don’t turn off your 

But I’m fucking tired. I’m paying punishment for shit I don’t remember doing.. past lives.. etc.

I literally am watching the pattern collapse in on every level.. in myself.. manifesting in my life.. I watch demons speak through people I once knew.. I battle my own demons daily..

But the one thing that’s so close to shattering is my mental health.. like to show people the pattern is to open the can of worms.. most people wanna eat the blue pill with a tall glass of shut the fuck up but my purpose is to make you aware.

 

 

 

 The infinity symbol. 

No words.

When the Holy Spirit came to me she came with NO words. She came with just a feeling. Just love. Just unconditional love that connected everything on the radio to God. That connected everything in the entire world with God.

 

The Spirit came to me with no words— just this overwhelming feeling of love. It didn’t matter if I was on meth. (The day she came I hadn’t smoked for the record— not that I care if you believe me.) It didn’t matter if I was an escort. It didn’t matter. Just like Jesus I hang out with the people society deems as “low”.. killers, pimps & hoes, drug addicts. None of that mattered to God.

 

When people ask me how I made damn near $150,000 last year and have nothing to show for it— I tell them I gave it away, because I did. To my friends, to acquaintances, to people who I thought loved me, to people who manipulated me in order to get out of me what they could. I don’t regret it at all. I’ve been fucked over by damn near everyone I’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter because I’ve never had a problem surviving. It doesn’t matter because money never meant a damn thing to me. Money is just paper. Money literally grows on trees. It’s nothing. It’s useless.

 

When the Spirit came I wanted to tell everyone but didn’t know how to do it correctly. Society wasn’t ready for an “atheist” to flip the switch and talk about God so passionately. After I made a live video confessing the Spirit came to me my mother made that awful post saying I was on drugs & had mental illnesses. My entire family abandoned me and said I was crazy. My dad told me no one cares about what I have to say about God. Then why go to church I asked? I don’t remember if he even answered me. They are good people, excellent people actually, and I love them more than words could ever explain. Society just isn’t ready for Jesus, The Spirit, or God. They pretend they are, but they are asleep. Everyone. They don’t get it..

 

If you fear the Lord it’s because you haven’t repent— and what I mean by repent is ask God for forgiveness but asking God for forgiveness requires NO WORDS. God doesn’t speak in words, God speaks in love. God speaks through your heart. God speaks in this wave of love that washes over you like you’ve just been born into a world where you don’t fit in AT ALL. You become an alien to almost everyone you’ve ever know. You don’t repent in words. You repent with your life— like Jesus did. I am born again. I am a new person. A new being. I am striving to be as God is.


Until the Holy Spirit comes to you than you don’t know what God is. Period. God is Love and sacrifice. Sacrifices that never felt so damn amazing. Saving grace is real.


I will spend the rest of my life trying to better myself everyday. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be better than I was yesterday, I will spend the rest of my life striving for world peace, for heaven on earth.


Being Christian is believing in the son. YOU ARE THE SON. You are the star seed, like Lucifer we have fallen from grace, we are Lucifer and we must make ourselves Holy again, put ourselves back together again, be Jesus again by being reborn.


GOD IS ONLY LOVE! 🌈🌷🍃


Finding your twin flame is finding yourself. Connecting your physical body back to the spiritual being you are. You are who you’ve been looking for. Search within your abyss. Look deep within yourself. That’s where God is. God is finding you. Finding the purpose for why we are here which is why we feel from heaven. We had to become our own creators and the only way to do that is to shut ourselves off from his grace and find it again yourself.


Sins of the flesh are when you put these idols (money, cars, clothes) above your fellow man. I’m not saying hand outs to people who don’t deserve it is a good thing— it’s not. People must fall and stand back up on their own but when you have mother fucking mothers or here with three jobs supporting her family, or a 20 something busting their ass to put themselves in college because their parents can’t afford it, or someone who works hard and lost their home in a fire, or someone who had a sudden death and their world was turned upside down— these are the people we must help. These are the people we must give to. People who don’t have their hand out. People who will continue to make the world a more beautiful place. There’s so much spent on homeless but for what? They are homeless because they choose to be. Let’s give to people who are out here trying to feed hungry children, who are trying to start renewable energy programs, and healthy kids programs, and fucking art programs!


God doesn’t come to you with words. You feel that shit deep in your fucking soul. It shakes you to the core and turns your world upside down and rips open your eyeballs to the disgusting and pathetic world we live in. A world where churches take your money and shove it in their own greedy fucking pockets. A world where the government who is suppose to protect us allows people to poison our water. A world where we let Syrian children die at sea trying to escape a fucking war and we slam the doors to our countries, a world that wants to build a fucking wall to keep human beings out, a world where our politicians don’t care and our TVs are manipulated to sell you more shit you don’t need while we let kids starve to death while we sit up in our fancy fucking apartments and snort drugs every weekend and drown out the noise with more booze and all the hookers we can buy while we try to cover up the fact we fucking hate ourselves because we don’t know who the fuck we are and NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN FUCKING BUY YOU THAT!!!!!!!!!!!


If one more person tells me how I can use my spiritual blessing to make money I’m going to fucking puke on them. Shove your money up your ass if you think I want it for greedy fucking reasons. Every dollar I’ve ever made I’ve damn near given away. Every drug I’ve ever had I’ve shared, every pack of cigarettes, every night a friend came knocking I let them in and opened my home to them regardless of the circumstance, I opened my cabinet and I fed them if they were hungry.


The world doesn’t need more successful people. The word needs more love. Period. I’m on a mission to bring truth and love back to the world and I will be at war with the nay sayers and the bullshit cheap people forever. Until the government kills me or God takes me back I will do his work because I felt his love.


This is repenting. This is being Christian. This is what God is about. This is Love. ❤️❤️❤️

 

If you’d live to support my cause please donate at

https://www.gofundme.com/bbylon

YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVymRH356AoC4f6Z4bV04Kw

1249

Unfuck the world. 

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I got this message on a license plate. I had one contact in but it looked like the license plate said DAD1249. It said QAD. Either way I got the message. Then next license plates said TTIME13 and 7799.

 

i was thinking in my head right before this message about an encounter I had just had with my friend and his 12 year old. He was watching Lil Punp walk in Ice Box and spend $300,000 on jewelry. FOR WHAT? 

 

We are influencing our youth no matter what. His dad was telling him what he thought he should do with his life and I said do whatever you want. Money will follow. Stop chasing things for money. Stop caring about jewelry and money. Focus on love. Focus on being pure of intent. Let’s spread more love. It’s time to give to Gods people. Give to the people who are working to change the world for love. To bring peace and humility back. When is that going to be cool again? I’m tired of hearing about birches and money. I don’t give a shit bout celebrities. For what? That’s lust. Stop listing after bullshit. Follow your heart. That’s the straight and narrow path.  

 

If you fuck with God, You gotta fuck with LOVE. Peace & God bless.  

Pattern of Everything

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Before you come into this body, you make a deal with the creator. You are given a life mission to carry out during your stay here. The general goal is to raise the vibrations and frequencies of the Earth as a whole to raise people’s awareness of consciousness. Lots of people across the globe in general are starting to "wake up". We don’t remember our divinity. We have been asleep for a very long time and are now on this mass brink of  this consciousness shift. When this happens it goes hand in hand with the polarity shift on Earth every 36 years.  So welcome to the Age of Aquarious. So this is where we can tell Piscian Age that it’s been real and it’s been fun.. but it ain’t been real fun. Lol. 

 "As above, so below."

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 What this ancient symbol means is that our bodies mimic the heavens or cosmos and we mimic it. What happens to us, also happens on some parallel spiritual universe. The micro and the macro will mimic each other exactly. The pattern repeats In everything  This is the knowledge Moses recieved on Mount Siani and what in math is called Fibonacci Sequence.

Your actions now hold a lot more value than you believe.. You have to be a person big enough to understand that we can NOT be selfish any longer. There is so much to learn and so much to change. Let's come together to help wake the others, help change the world, help educate the Earth. The time is at hand.

 I want to explain a few things for people to understand my relationship with God. I am NOT ONE RELGION. I AM ALL OF THEM. I AM SPIRITUAL, RELIGIOUS, I AM HATH I AM.

 Spiritual people usually hate religion and for good reason. Separation is NOT the way. I used to hate religion. After my awakening, I picked up the Bible. Not only the Bible though, The Quran, Buddhism, Hinduism, Black Magic, Classical Mythology, Poetry, Philosophy, Astrology, Etc.

What I discovered was it was all the same exact thing. When I had my awakening, it felt like this overwhelming warm feeling of clairvoyance. Every single song on the radio connected to God. I can't explain it in any other way than that. I felt connection. I realized that every creative outlet of energy in the entire world is the same thing. It doesn't matter what movie you watch, watch song you listen to, or what book you read.. its all His Story or history. Humans have taken Jesus Christ spiritual experience and turned it into whatever the fuck they want. The Bible isn't up for interpretation. You can't change the word of God. If you read the Bible how it was intended, after you've had your awakening, you'll understand Jesus was having his awakening too. We're not praying to a different God in every religion, it's the SAME God. You spiritual experience isn't without God. What Spirit do you have that is causing you to have this experience? We ALL came from THE SAME SOURCE, and if we want to get back to it we have to stop separating ourselves with these bullshit titles for people to get hung up on. We are all from this same beautiful creative energy. The source of your inspiration, the source of everyone's inspiration. So no matter what you call the source, it allowed us to have this experience to find each other again.. to connect, to grow, to find "it's" love, to give that love..

The Power of Words

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  Remember when we were kids and we used to say, “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me?” Now ask yourself how many times you’ve laid awake and cried when a person you love said something mean to you. Ask yourself how many times you didn’t do something because someone said that was stupid. Think about how many times you stopped wearing something you liked because one person said it was ugly. As much as we say we don’t care, we care. People have an impact on us as much as we’d like to deny it. We give people the power to destroy us. This flesh we wear doesn’t protect our hearts. Inside of that we’re these squishy little sensitive pieces of shit just wanting to be loved so desperately.

 

 The world has us fucked up because we’ve forgotten that we’re a soul, not a body. We have forgotten that we care what people think and we’ve been trying to numb that with alcohol, drugs, food, or work. We’ve forgotten how good it feels to care about something we love— instead of someone or something that someone else loves. We forgot that true happiness doesn’t come from an outside source.

True happiness comes from within.

 Real love is something we can only give ourselves.  

& God isn’t out there somewhere. He’s in— in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls. 

 

 The “real” world is mostly made up of the stuff we can’t see, but we feel it. Just like the air that fills up every single space around us and yet we see nothing but we know  the air is real. We know to our core that we need it to be alive. God or Allah or the Most High has these same qualities. When this 'spirit' or 'presence' of God came into body it was something I had never felt before. I felt the ultimate reality of connection. Every song on the radio connected fluidly like an elaborate spider web that comes from the source. The source being the Most High.

  I think the message was clear very clear to me but I didn’t know how to vocalize it at the time, but it was something like;

We're only using 10% of our brains and even less of our hearts.

What happened to compassion? What happened to the understanding that we our all from One and from that One we have copied this “code” that this energy has manifested into the universe. Starting with a word that was probably something like this;

 

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The literal translation of Genesis 1:1 is

“In the beginning, God created the Hebrew alphabet and then He created the heavens and the earth.” 

“In the beginning, God created the Hebrew alphabet and then He created the heavens and earth.” 

 “

This idea is also indicated by the seven Hebrew words which make up this opening sentence. The number seven, in Judaism, represents completion. For example, the Sabbath is the sixth day. God created the world in six days and on the seventh day it was completed and therefore, He rested. The world was complete.

Additionally, the sages discuss the significance of beginning the Torah with a beit rather than an aleph, the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Aleph, which represents God Himself, has the numerical value of one in Biblical numerology. God instead chose to start the Torah with the letter beit (בְּ), which has the value of two.

“Jewish tradition teaches that God created the world in order to have relationship with his creation,” explained Segal to Breaking Israel News. “This is symbolized by the Torah beginning with the letter beitwhich indicates duality-the meeting of heaven with earth. God wants man to actively seek Him out and pray towards Him.”

The letter beit also stands for “dwelling place”, “house” and “palace” as in the word bayit (בַּיִת). By starting the Hebrew Bible with this letter, God is symbolically communicating with us that we should make the Bible a place where we dwell, feel at home and and become the prince and princess to the King.

“On Simchat Torah, as we complete the yearly reading of the Torah and immediately beginning again, we are reminded that the Bible must always be kept in our hearts and minds,” noted Segal. “We know that God created a world where nothing is random. Therefore, it is intriguing to note that the last word in the Torah is יִשְׂרָאֵל (Israel). This makes the lastHebrew letter of the Torah a lamed (ל). Connecting this last letter with the first letter of the Bible beittogether, forms the word lev (לב). Lev means heart. Studying the Bible, especially in Hebrew enters the heart and builds love for God and His creations.”

Learn more about Biblical Hebrew here.  

 “

 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.breakingisraelnews.com/78528/first-seven-hebrew-words-bible-reveal-creation/amp/

 

Furthermore, words cast a spell. That’s why the first thing we learn how to do in school is Spelling. Don’t wait, repent now. The double edged sword has always been your tounge. The Lord is coming.  

 

 God bless you all. Xoxo.

 

 

 

If God is real; Why war? Why hate? Why disease?

Someone asked me if there’s a God why is does the world have so much hate, war, disease, illness, and devastation?

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The answer is simple:

The world is NOT bad because God made it that way. The world is bad because WE, MAN, HUMAN BEINGS— made it that way.

You’re born perfect. Not knowing hate or racism or meanness. We as children learn this from the environment or parents were around. 

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The world has sickness and illness because WE allow it. You know what gets rid of sickness and illness? Eating healthy, organically, and not eating meat. We are allowing these companies to feed us shitty food and garbage because we as consumers CHOOSE how the market is. BUT WE DO HAVE A CHOICE. We have a choice to raise our vibrations and when you do that you are less susceptible to illness. We don’t need all this medicine and bushit. Love can cure the whole world.

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There is hate and intolerance because WE AS MAN have chosen to be assholes instead of following our intuition and listening to that divine spark that says, “Hey, this is a person. They have feelings just like me, a brain and a heart— just like me. They are human beings just like me.”

If you choose to allow hate to go on around you. If you allow people to be mean or rude or talk shit about others around you then you’d made this type of behavior okay and it’s NOT. That’s instant karma. 

You have a choice everyday to be Godly or not. To chose to do better. Make the world a better place. To be a nice person. To do something to make a difference. To do something to make the world a brighter place. If we don’t do this then who is at fault? Us or God? It’s easy to blame God for shit that we did. It’s easy to shift the blame instead of excepting the problem as something we did. Until we learn to take responsibility for our own actions the world will never change. One person CAN make a difference. If enough people came together, that one person becomes a group, and a group of people become a village, then a state, then a nation, than the world. We have to start remembering that the world is made up of a bunch of people who can and are somebodies. You have you believe in yourself and your power.

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Finding God for me has aloud me to see that even when I was Atheist; I was only that because I didn’t agree with the hate and bullshit that I thought religion was.

As I TRUE BELIEVER, you have to look around and study all the religions to find out what’s bullshit and what’s not. What was put there to control people and what was actually written.

Galatians 3:21-25

New King James Version (NKJV)

23 But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed.

24 Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. 25 But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.

If the law is “Love thy neighbor, as I have loved you.”

And you’ve done this.

Then the Holy Spirit will REVEAL to you the TRUTH. But you have to seek it. It is NOT just given to you. Now as it has been given to me BY GOD, BY THE HOLY SPIRIT— I am now, no longer under a teacher, I can freely teach about God because it was REVEALED to me..

I am no longer concerned with what other people think of me. I only care what God thinks. I know what I say is true. I know the Holy Spirit was inside of me and shown me things. If you can’t believe God did that than maybe your God is too small.. maybe thats not God at all. That’s your ego or the Church or the lies they told. God doesn’t take Blind Faith. God is very very real and manifest and speaks to you in very clear ways.

The Bible is NOT up for interpretation. It’s only suppose to be taught how God wanted it taught. Christianity isn’t the only religion I believe in. I believe in ALL of them. They are all different interpretations of people’s spiritual paths and if I didn’t have pure evidence from different religions I wouldn’t believe in religion either. What was revealed to me was for me to know God. If you seek truth, it will be revealed to you too.

I know the moment I asked Jesus into my heart I felt him wrap me up in his love to protect me from these evil spirits and bullshit.

Our bodies are only energy. We are open energy nodes. The earth is an energy grid. These are facts. My energy and frequency is so high my phone does not work most of the time.

And on a side note: I also used to have sleep paralysis before I asked Jesus in my heart. I no longer have that.

Like I said, God is real. I am a prophet. I am hear to bear witness of Jesus Christ and Gods love. I am here to tell you the end of time is coming. If you don’t agree just good the A.I. They are building. We will eventually kill ourselves with the technology.

I know I am eternal and I will live forever with God. I’m not scared to die anymore. I know the truth. I’m not scared of people’s judgements— I am a wolf among sheep.

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I am here if anyone wants to talk. Anyone. I would love to speak to you about God with anyone who’s open to listen to the truth.

God bless. ❤️

Why I came to this planet..

I've been on this planet...

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for twenty-six years I've been searching... No, my spaceship didn't crash here on some crazy voyage. I didn't get mixed up in my time machine and stuck here by accident. No, I wasn't born in some far away galaxy nor in some far away time either. I was born in the United States and I've spent the last eight or so years of my adult life roaming around this country from one strip club to the next. From city to city with no purpose, no end destination. Just this inner indecisiveness that was searching for something. I didn't know what exactly but I'd know when I got there. I didn't know where there was. If I could just find there, I'd find my purpose, I'd find home. People said I was running from something, running from my problems, from myself. I actually started to believe that shut. I knew I was different and whatever I was searching for I would find.. eventually..

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 In September 2017, something happened to me two days before my 26th birthday.. that is hard to explain. The best way I can explain it, is that the truth punched me in the face. What I was searching for was never something I needed to go find. It was in a series of events that no matter where I went, it was the experiences getting me closer to what I was looking for, not the distance traveled. I wasn't doing drugs but I felt high. It was something that opened my fucking mind in a way that changed me completely. For fifteen minutes I had full fluidity of the connection between me, God or The Universe, and every sing on the radio. It fucking change me in the most beautiful way possible. The deeper I dig, the deeper I get to know who I am, the better I understand everyone else. Everything is right in front of your face, just move your ego to the side, along with everything you have ever learned. I know I'm not crazy, at all. I'm not fucked up. I'm not having a mental breakdown, going through psychosis, or losing my mind. I'm finding myself.

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 People love to watch me come unhinged. They've always watched me from a safe distance. Observing me like a monkey in a circus. Mouth open, popcorn ready, waiting for my next trick. I'm to real and raw for most people to stomach. I won't spoon feed you like a child. I don't have superficial surface scratch relationships that are so common. Don't ask me if I think that dress makes you look fat, because I'll tell you the truth. My mother once told me that I didn't know how to have small talk. She said, "For you, It's gotta be deep and meaningful.. or you just can't do it." She's right. I've always been, All-in or All-out. Everything or Nothing. Now or Never.

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 "Do you ever feel like you're the brightest light in the room and everyone's trying to put you out?"

"All the time.", I replied. Thinking in the head that there was no way I was meeting a girl with almost the exact life story as I. These were my people. This was my home. This is my message.

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I spent all this time thinking I was searching, but I was really just gaining experience. I had to do a big ass circle, only to tell me that.. I've always been whole- I never needed anyone to show me. I've always been complete. I was sent here to show these other people the way. I'm not sure where or how we got lost.. but it is my duty to make sure we get back to the truth.. If you are ready to find your heart, your soul, your people.. you came to the right place.. And I’m here to help anyone and everyone find their purpose or soul mission. I’m happy to speak to anyone, anytime about God, spirituality, or anything else you’re curious about. ❤️

Still Not Understanding?

  At this point I’m used to the weird occurrences that happen to me on the daily. I ask a question to the universe then the answer comes to me a few days later. I asked God how I could make you guys understand better. I asked how I could be more fluent with my ideas and better with communicating them back to you guys. Then I received my message loud and clear. 

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Looking back at the first blog post I wrote, I talk about getting to know yourself and understanding yourself. I wrote about the Myers Briggs personality test and how it helped me to learn about myself as an INTJ personality. Now, it’s help me realize that my message is only for a few who can understand then learn to teach it better than I can. I only has a message that some can understand, then those who can understand it will pass the message along in due time. The powers of the universe amaze me.. please don’t turn a blind eye to your signs. Count your blessings and watch for repeating numbers. ❤️

Health— & lies they feed us.

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One of the first things, of many things you will being to notice about society is the LIES they tell us. It almost seems like they WANT to keep our vibrations lows. Now why would they want us to be unaware of God? What the fuck does vibes, God and health have to do with eachother? Well you can call it God or you can call it the Universe. No matter what you call the big “IT”— it’s clear as crystal to see how they are trying to make our bodies the least energetic as possible so that we are unaware of our messages. Letting go of hate and bullshit and beLIEfs that separate us is the first step to becoming ONE with the world. God is Love. I’m not sure when we decided this conveyor belt line of bullshit was okay.. but if you don’t believe me let me take you on a journey.. 

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 From the second you pop out that perfect little baby that is snatch from your va-jay-yay without any chance in the world, they stab a bunch of unknown drugs in our child’s bodies through a vaccine. Now unless you’re watching them mix that shit themselves. You don’t know what’s in it, period. This baby is healthy it makes no sense. We ALL know toxic heavy metals are found in it, not to mention who knows what else.

 Then when they are age 4 or 5, we send them to a school that forces them to get a vaccine. Then we send them off on their little conveyor belts to make sure they follow the rules, obey authority, sit down, and shut the fuck up. Don’t forget your lunch because God know what’s in the school ones. Oh and if little Susie acts up or gets to hyper. Punish her!!!!! If she acts up still, more meds should do the trick to get that healthy and active child sedated and ready for the next phase.

  This phase will last virtually all of your life. We poison the water with fluoride but we just use that to give them something to talk about. We’re also going to make in Acidic. That way when you get a bottle of water from a gas station for you or your child to hydrate yourselves it will have virtually no difference than if you drank a can of pop! Dasani water is a 4.4 ph level and Mountain Dew is 3.4. Touché sneaky fuckers. Tip: Whole Foods has ph 10. I feel completely different since I started drinking it. Let your pineal glands breathe!

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 Now let’s make sure it’s impossible to eat healthy and never tell these idiots that karma is real. Meat is dead animals and that is bad. If you don’t believe me ask God.. 

In The Essene Gospel of Peace, Book 1, Jesus says,
"Kill neither men, nor beasts, nor yet the food which goes into your mouth. For if you eat living food, the same will quicken you, but if you kill your food, the dead food will kill you also. For life comes only from life, and from death comes always death. For everything, which kills your foods, kills your bodies also. And everything, which kills your bodies, kills your souls also. And your bodies become what your foods are, even as your spirits likewise become what your thoughts are. Therefore, eat not anything which fir, or frost, or water has destroyed. For burned, frozen and rotted foods will burn, freeze and rot your body also."

Then let’s tell them everything you naturally want to do is horrible. Like sex. Now the higher your vibrations are the more you realize how primitive sex is. Sex is not “Sin if the Flesh”. I hate to bust your Bible school books but that’s NOT what God meant. God doesn’t give two fucks about these flesh vessels were in. We are SOULS and BEINGS inside the flesh. These sins are defiling your temples with the five twinkles and ho-hos your fatass bratty kid just shoved down his fat fucking cheeks. Chill the fuck out on the snacks. Children should be little butter balls. Moving on.

 Now if all all of these things don’t work to surprise your minds into little dust and dumbass balls, they’ve even topped it off with adding disgusting toxic heavy metals in all the shampoos, cleaning supplies, detergents and face washes. Do we even realize what we’ve done? Our parents fucked up, clearly. The 70s and 80s were apparently a bummer. So millenials, like we know we’re lazy and we’re entitled. Can we demand for some better food while we’re in the midst of our bitching? Can we demand for better soaps? Better water? We are the CONSUMER! If we demand it, they HAVE to make it. Or better yet, let’s be the change we want. It’s time for us to cum for these energy suckers. Lol literally, we’ve had enough. Every fucking sickness and disease in the world has been CURED! How you ask? By giving your body the natural ingredients and not putting toxic foods and GMOs in our body. If it’s not natural, don’t fuck with it. Period. Like the world is not okay. We need to start treating the world and ourselves better for the right reasons.

Connections: The Bible, Norse Mythology & Thor.

 

 Paradise is often described as a "higher place”. So I guess you could say there’s levels to this shit. So if I said we're in the top level of Hell. Also called, Limbo or Purgatory. Would you believe me? You don't have to, I don't know for sure I just think the connections are getting interesting. 

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The Bible says in Genesis 6:1–4 that the Nephilim, which means “fallen ones” when translated into English. Supposedly we're the result of these divine beings or the sons of God when they came down from the clouds and fucked human women or the daughters of Adam. The Nephilim are known as great warriors and Biblical giants (Ezekiel 32:27 and Numbers 13:33) 

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Hell or Nifhel refers to the “Land of the Fog”. That would make sense that this is the land of the fog because they literally you're in a foggy lie of bullshit. That's why it's called waking up. Get the sleep out of your eyes. You do whatever these people want. It’s self-slavery! You go to work and go to school when they want. Then you eat and breathe what they are making sure is available or pump into our air. You inject your children with whatever they want to put in those vaccines. Don't tell me you know because you literally don't. You have NO idea. It could be rat poisoning. We DON'T know. That's the problem right there in itself.   

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Anyways, Nifheim is the land of the mist. So we have the land of the “Misty Fog” and the “Land of the Mist” now.

The Bible makes reference to it in Genesis 2:6 in the King James Version (KJV) says, "But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

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What is amazing to me is that when I went back home to visit, I HAD to stop at Serpent Mound. I felt like there was something there. Some clue or insight on how the fuck or who the fuck I was. When I arrived there wasn't anyone else in the park I was completely alone. I walked around and took some photos. The sky was really insane that day. I ended up walking up the tail with caution making sure I didn't step on the mound. When I got in the middle of the tail I placed my forehead to the ground and prayed. Then the strangest cloud appeared in the sky that day. It just happened to be was like Saturn or Midgard. God speaks to me in very specific ways. Sometimes with numbers or the clouds. Sometimes I know what he’s saying and sometimes I google the numbers for the message. At this point, like I've been saying, it's not random. Let's allow ourselves to tun into this big world and hear the message. 

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Genesis Decoded.

 For my entire 26 years on this Earth I have been an atheists, up until 25. Now, please don't stop reading here because this isn't your usual blog. I'm not going to try to come at your sideways with no facts. I'm very practical and logical. If someone would of presented me with factual evidence my ears would of perked up quick. Science can explain everything. There is a logical explanation to everything. Before, when people spoke about their experiences with God it seemed like mumbo-jumbo. These people weren't "Christ-like". I mean shit, these weren't even "semi"-god like people. 😂 These were fake, hypocritical, mean, pretentious ass people. Spitting in Gods face trying to even think they know Gods love. So, why me? Why do I know Gods love and you don't? Well it is easy to spot a true believer. The real God can take an atheist and turn them into a believer. He can take a drug addict and shy her completely away from toxic poisons. He can take a chicken nugget eating fiend and make her stomach turn at the thought of eating dead animals. People don't change, period. It takes something amazing or horrific to change someones life to this extent. When you search for truth, you shall find it. The problem with our society is that they have us in a 2-D and 3-D head space. They don't want you to think about the fourth dimension. Well that dimension is here people. Facebook shut down AI, who started to create its own language and once the story went viral they decided to backtrack before people lost their fucking minds. The article in Forbes stated, "In experimenting with language learning, a research algorithm ended up deviating from human language in a way that wasn’t really useful… it started generating what one might call “functional gibberish”. It was functional in that it continued to carry information, but it wasn’t very efficient or useful." You can check out the rest of the story here. Now I don't know if there's any 90's babies reading this but me and my friends spoke gibberish to each other and we communicated perfectly fine... "Diddagoo yuddiiigoo cddgaal bddagool-shiddagit tidagoo?" Lol tell me if anyone gets that? Harder to type gibberish that speak it. 

  When I freaked out and posted that video on Facebook saying I did drugs and they helped me connect all these random thoughts in no sort order while I was freaking out on top of everything. Lol it's no wonder people thought I lost it. Shit, I thought the fate of humanity relied on me getting that information out RIGHT THEN. As it is still equally important to get out, this takes time and baby spoons. I now have it more organized and I've done most of the research for you, all you have to do is read, and you can see for yourself. I need you to try to do this while trying to understand... 

 Don't be so logical, you're illogical. Think from a free and clear head space, one that is open to possibilities because my biggest argument for this is that, "Well is there a possibility you're wrong?" And when I say no people get pissed off.  Maybe some of my details are blurry, but God is real. Listen because when I tell you the TRUTH will reveal itself. That shit ain't up for an interpretation and real children of God won't sit and argue with you all day. 1+1=2. Yes, you're entitled to your opinion if you want to make it 5 or 7, but your wrong. That's the proof I have for God. You don't have to "have faith", you just gotten listen to your intuition instead of what these fucks told you and conditioned you to think. I have already been on your side fighting tooth and nail everyday for twenty-five years against people like me now. You can't possibly understand until it happens. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN, WHO I'VE BEEN. MY SPIRIT IS AKIN TO JESUS CHRIST. You don't forget who you ARE. The more clear headed you are and open you are.. the more you leave yourself open to the possibility of seeing the TRUTH. Truth isn't opinion, it just is. So follow me on this path..

This is how I came to understand MY SOUL. I hope this is enough to send a jolt into your soul and awaken your sleepy spirit. To wipe the sleep out of your EYE and tell that beautiful mind that it's time to wake up. <3

                Once you "get it" you can never go back, so proceed with caution.. I tried to write this how it was read to me.. 


Genesis 1.

26 AND GOD SAID, LET US MAKE MAN IN OUR IMAGE, AFTER OUR LIKENESS: AND LET THEM HAVE DOMINATION over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 SO GOD CREATED MAN IN HIS OWN IMAGE, IN THE IMAGE OF, GOD CREATED HE HIM; MALE AND FEMALE HE CREATED THEM.

28 And GOD blessed them, and GOD said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And GOD said,

Behold, I have given you

EVERY HERB BEARING SEED,

which is upon the face of all the earth, and

EVERY TREE,

in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

32 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.


Genesis 2: King James Version


2 And on the seventh day GOD ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

4 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD GOD made the earth and the heavens,

5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth,

..and there was not a man to till the ground.

6 But there went up a MIST from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

9 And out of the ground made the LORD GOD to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

10 And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

11 The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

12 And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13 And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.

14 And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

15 And the LORD GOD took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the LORD GOD commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

18 And the LORD GOD said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the LORD GOD formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD GOD caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD GOD had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.


The Fall - Genesis 3 (ESV)

3 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

He said to the woman, “Did GOD actually say, ‘You[a] shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but GOD said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise,[b] she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. 


So, the First thing we need to understand is that there is THREE Beings here:

 ** (Yes, you can argue with me that Lord is just a title but we're being critical thinkers here people. You know why it's called a "Devil's Advocate" Because the Devil is fucking smart. He gave us the knowledge, so take you gift form Satin and shut up hahaha...) **

The God or Gods:

The Gods made.. Lord God... in his/their image, in the image of God, he created them, he him. That's two Lord Gods, (Lucifer & Jesus Christs Spirit) God created THEM at the same damn time, HE CREATED THEM at the same damn time. Okay, cool now you're caught up..

      Then we have,

             Lord God,

And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground.

6 But there went up a MIST from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

— Genesis 2 (KJV)

The Lord God needs someone to till the land for the Gold.

He needed workers. He needed laborers. He needs a slave race. He created man to til the ground... He made man and woman at different times. Why didn't Lord God poof up two people from the ground instead of just one? Why did he need to take a rib instead of breathing life into two, not one. Seems like a lot of work for Lord God? Ribs are one of the easiest things to take from a human body surgically. Ribs also harbor a lot of DNA in the bone marrow without hurting the individual. Bone marrow from a female also can be converted to sperm*.

..Now, if you start arguing me that God can't do surgery than take you retarded ass and go somewhere. Lol this is the LORD GOD we're talking about, he created us. 

Anyways, God gave Lord God EVERY TREE.

Lord God gave man every tree, except the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 

Then you have the Gentile. Which is us. Humans. Find out how the words lead the way to the truth in my next post..


This is as close as it gets to whats actually going on.. 

 

Notice the pattern of the words which you can follow in my next post...

Enlil literally starts the word Enlighten.

 

 

 

 


 

 

Are you worthy of magic?

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Two years ago, at my worst, I was laying in my one bedroom basement apartment in a city where I only had one friend who's boyfriend fucking hated me for being a raging alcoholic who influenced his girlfriend to be a drunk slut. I was completely isolated and alone. I tried drinking myself to death every night. There's this moment when you've been crying so hard and loud that your not sure if it was your screams could crack every. fucking. thing. inside. of. you. Like your drowning but don't remember getting in a pool. Like your body physically hurts with unbearable heartache. I didn't wanna die but I didn't wanna exist. I didn't want to feel all this pain I was carrying. I was drinking because I was sad, and sad because I was drinking. I was inevitably stuck in an cycle that I thought was going to kill me. I didn't think I was going to live to be here today. I didn't want to live this long.

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If you asked me today how I got through that I would tell you I have no idea. I just kept going day after day until life forced me to uproot and changed my path. I don't know that person, I never did. It's a blurry mirage or a distant memory from a movie I once watched. I was so disassociated with reality that I slept on an air mattress in the living room. I'd wake up half drunk, with a semi-deflated mattress in my face and puffed up around my little body. I would be actually relieved because I was in my own home. Until I realized the dried blood and gashes were on my arms. The knife laying beside me in the bed. Blacking out became a regular thing. Wake up, Alcohol, Feel Happy..

 

*BLACK OUT*.. Anger, fighting, pills, knife, cry, feel alone.. *need more alcohol*.. store, yelling, loud, fuck, kamiajsnoafvSLKMLKSCKFVJHAKJ?c.v;fdknjzoigdj;........

All I know is I survived.. 

I survived three years of blacking out five to seven nights a week but I survived. I racked up multiple charges involving alcohol and violence during these drunken episodes. I survived three years at the strip club and being basically sexually assaulted everyday but perverts and a drunk pack of nasty disrespectful men talking to like I was nothing more than a fuck doll.. but I survived.

 

I'm writing this blog for people who need to know that there is someone out here that's real. There's something real. I've never felt more complete. I am so filled with love. A feeling of being whole or complete. I'm not scared of what people might say about me. I'm not embarrassed about my past..

 

We need to start opening our hearts, we need to bleed out the bad blood, cast out negative energy from our souls. We need to find ourselves again. Find the truth. I am a very logical person and I have always believed Science has the answer to everything. Which is still true but people seem to forget to do the foot work for themselves  to make their own conclusions and test for soundness and logic. The definition of Science doesn't include the metaphysical world either. The definition:

 

Science:

ˈsīəns/

noun

  1. the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.

 

  How many experiments have you done to test your theories? Once I tested the result of how accurate Sun/Moon sign combinations are, I could no longer deny God. It's impossible. When I started asking questions and searching for the answers I found them. No, I didn't have an epiphany. Something didn't just "click" for me. When I followed my gut, my intuition.. I remembered my past. At the time I couldn't explain it. I thought Aliens or Gods were talking to me. I guess they were. I guess remember that God is in you and you are one in the same. You are the embodiment of Jesus Christ. We Are All One.

 

What God did for me is let me feel. He let me feel every song on the radio connect, everything connect, the numbers connected, every movie, painting, dream.. they are all just pieces of ourselves trying to remind us of that connection..

 

God gave me an understanding of the universe the I can only try to explain just as everyone before me has..

 

God changed me. He changed me in every way a person can be changed. He gave me knowledge that no one can take that away from me no matter how hard they try. Once you see it, it can never be undone but you'll never feel anything more free. More satisfying. We our one. We have always been one. So free yourself like a bird. It's time to fly home.

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Every mistake has made me stronger and brought me closer to here. These lessons made me unbreakable. There isn't anything anyone can say to me that will ever crush my spirit again. Call me crazy, insane, say that I'm high, say that I'm losing it, say whatever you want but nothing will stop me from this mission. Not even death because I know that judgement day is upon us and I will go home to his Kingdom in the sky.

 

#FreeYourHearts ♥️ 

Being a black sheep ain't easy.

Why is it that the people we love hurt us the most? My eyes filling up with tears and I can feel that big ass lump in my throat while I try to hold back from sobbing all over myself. Sometimes we just have to get shit off our chests so it can stop weighing down our hearts. I constantly walk around with this hole inside my chest because the only thing I have ever really wanted was for my parents to be proud of me. Not just be proud though, I wanted them to accept me, for me. If someone doesn't know you, how can they love you? That's not love. Love is unconditional. Love is loving the fucked up parts too. Why am I so accepting of others flaws but the same respect is never reciprocated? Yes, I understand I didn't take the route that every parent wants for their children but I didn't have that option. I did my best with what I was given and with very little help from them.

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My mother is so judgmental and cold. Have you ever felt awkward hugging your mom? Some of the only real conversations we've ever had were the product of wine. That's the only time she relaxes enough listen. I think it's because she cares what people think of her. That's why she posted this horrific post about my mental health. Like who does that to their child. It wouldn't hurt so much if it wasn't for the fact that she literally does not know shit about the state of my mental health. How could she? We never speak. Even birthdays have been simplified to Facebook posts, phone calls have been replaced with texts, and she "senses" I'm not okay based on the number of posts that day. So to think you would know about my mental state seems strange when you don't know anything about what I'm doing.

  I guess she has always thought I inherited my dads mental health. I went to a psychiatrist once and she told me that maybe I could be bipolar but I'm on that line. We couldn't know for sure until I quit drinking. I definitely think that my mental health issues were entirely related with my alcohol use. My dads mental health I think had a lot to his alcohol use also. When we were growing up he kept shit cool for the most part. I remember The Andy Milonakis theme song always made him go ballistic until we would quit. So naturally, my sister and I would fuck with him. "I rock peas on my head. but don't call me a pea head... "He'd go ballistic. Then the time we all went golfing. He lost it when we tried hitting the golf ball like Happy Gilmore. All in all, his fits were few and far between. We were really tight for a minute. There's a time when I thought my dad was pretty cool. Most people's situation is the opposite but to have parents who were there for you. Then you grow up and go "home" but feel like your sitting with complete strangers. They don't know me, I don't know them, and they don't want to know me. My mother told me I wasn't allowed to come home nor see my brother this weekend. I know she is just afraid of the truth. It's scary to people. My mother puts up a shield to block anything that threatens her comfort zone. She's afraid if I get "to close" I'll burst her bubble and destroy everything she knows to be true. People are more comfortable having a false sense of security than the truth.

 The one thing I fucking hate is how I use my intelligence to make excuses for people who are flat out wrong. Ignorance isn't bliss people, period. Ignorance is dangerous. Ignorance is why we have racism. Ignorance is why we have people dropping bombs on innocent people for wars over greed and stupidity. Ignorance is telling someone in a country founded on immigrants that they have to get out if they don't speak English. Ignorance is telling people in a country with freedom of speech to get out if they say the war is bullshit or that the president is a blubbering glorified fucking racist idiot. Ignorance isn't something we should encourage ever. Knowledge is power. 

 I didn't wake up one day and choose this. If you told me that God spoke to you, I'd tell you that you probably should check into a mental hospital too. This has been an impending series of specific events that have occurred over my entire lifetime to get me ready for this moment. I need to stop saying God. When I say God I'm not talking about a man in the sky. I'm not talking about some Santa Clause mother fucker checking his list to see if your naughty or nice. I'm talking about the universe. I am not even sure if it's the universe. The feeling I felt when I was shown the "other side", it was a feeling of connection, completion and being whole. The songs on the radio had a message. The numbers had a message. No one was physically speaking to me. The message was so simple that people miss the point, even me. I get hung up on bullshit details. We are all one, that's it. We are a divine spiritual entity that is not this physical form, it's spirit. It's connection as a whole. We are not slaves to this fake ass system. We are not "workers to till the ground". We ARE fucking Gods in some sense. Everyday we have the chance to do the right thing or the wrong thing, I hope you choose the right thing. I hope you can listen to other people and collectively think and evaluate your spirit and mind.

 
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
— Benjamin Button

 You may not believe that I spoke with God or the universe but I know mathematically the probability of this shit is one in a billion. Just this past weekend I decide to go to the strip club with a friend. I'm chilling', I have a headache from this fuck ass bachelor party that keeps doing the infamous white boy yell. "WHEWWWWW! Let's get fucked up!" I don't care what country you live in or where your from. If your white, you do that. Anyways I ran into an old friend there. We leave and end up back at her dudes house. While there he tells me he's from California but in town visiting family. "Me too" I said, "I live in Atlanta but came in town to see family. They ain't fucking with me though." He laughs, "Mine either, My dads schizophrenic. I'm here trying to put him in a home." "Why?" "He's connecting God with conspiracy theories." I almost jumped out of my fucking chair and spit my pop out!!!! "HE'S NOT CRAZY! HE'S ACTIVATED! MY FAMILY IS TRYING TO DO THE SAME SHIT TO ME!!!!! THIS IS FUCKING FATE!!!!!" I threw my backpack on the table and busted out my bible, notepad, and a stack of scribbled piece of paper. Long story short, I ended up at this guys house and we talked until 10 the next morning.  

 That is what this is all about for me. This is what my purpose in life is. This is what I was meant to do. There is no coincidences. There's only the fate of humanity resting on all of our shoulders and all we have to do is listen and pay attention to the signs all around us. If you are aware that these are not random then it gives you the ability to hear, see, feel and most importantly, understand the message. Trust your intuition. Know this shit is your message if you have a feeling. You'll know. Until we start communicating freely, stop letting people be asshole, and speaking up when people are flat out wrong... the world can never change for the better.

My Spiritual Journey: The First Blog Post.

 You can't tell me the universe isn't sending me messages. As I was writing the title of this post, my cell phone cord is a little shitty, but it made my phone just started vibrating and flash a few times. The time is 1:11, I know that don't mean shit to you but it will. Once you tune in and raise your vibrations the world will tell you what to do. I don't believe in coincidences anymore. Please, trust me when I say there's a reason to go through the bullshit. All the fucking pain I've endured in my life. Everyone goes through shit, you have to. If you didn't how would you know how strong you are?

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 I've been an atheist for my entire life. Not because anyone I knew was that or anyone told me too. I didn't buy into that shit. I was like maybe 19 before I told anyone that. I grew up in Southern Ohio in the  fucking sticks! The people there are some of the least open-minded people imaginable! Real Trump supporters, the "YEAHHH MERICAAAA!!'' *spits dip*, shoots deer type mother fuckers. I didn't really have confidence in myself and my opinions until I had been through some shit.

  I married my high school sweetheart at nineteen. He joined the United States Army and we moved to Fort Carson Colorado. Only to get divorced and drive across the country at 20 years old by myself back to that little shit hole town. So I could then, end up shooting heroin in my arm for eight month. Until one day, I looked around and said, "What in the fuck am I doing?" Then moved to Cincinnati two days later with my Aunt Rita. Applied a million places and got a job in a hair salon a week later, found my own spot a few months later, decided I was gonna go to college then actually went that fall. Then started dated the furthest guy from my ex-husband as possible, literally, a Saudi Arabian. Who got me pregnant a few months after that. 

*Phone vibrates again: 4:11.

I keep writing, then rewriting. Delete an entire paragraph. Smoke another cigarette..*

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I think my abortion is what kick started my alcohol addiction. I loved and wanted to keep my baby. I couldn't because he said he'd lose his scholarship from his government. That is the worst experiences of my life. They made me get an ultrasound before I could have the procedure. Seeing that little peanut shape was the most fucked up, twisted sick torture I've ever experienced. I'm sure I scared every girl in the building. I couldn't understand how these girls came out of  it and were fine? I came out crying like they cut one of my legs off, I cried like I'd never cried before, and when it was time to leave I cried some more. 

So for the next three years, I suppressed my pain somewhere deep deep inside of me.  Only letting those tears escape when I was way to drunk to remember who I was, let alone think about the baby.. I made peace with what I did. I don't know anything more selfish and selfless than that. I think that my baby was a huge key to figuring out my spirituality. 

 I spend the first three months of this year in a closet smoking meth, trying to figure out who the fuck I am. You're not suppose to smoke meth and become a hooker and your life get BETTER; but mine did. Mine fucking did so much. Like I thought alcohol was going to kill me! Or I was gonna accidentally kill someone else by drunk driving or violent behaviors. Especially when they're the same people who pounded shots with me, knowing I was gonna get blacked out and punch someone, probably them. When someone discredits me and acts like I'm ignorant or not a credible source because I get high, fuck you. No really, like, FUCK YOU.. I found myself, my real self through talking to my friend for hours. Digging deep inside myself to figure out what was really hurting me. No one knows me, better than me. If you wanna find yourself you have to strip down to the core of who you are in your soul. You have to understand yourself better than anyone. You have to know you have a divine purpose that has been put in place before you got to Earth. You made a contract with God before you came into this body. The more I learn about me, the more I follow the signs God put in place, and the more I learn to trust myself.. the more I discover the truth.

Believe me when I say I never thought in a million years my message would be to connect the story of God with Norse Mythology. I never thought I would be preaching and communicating with spirits to try to understand this message and save humanity. I think God chose me because who the fuck is going to believe a girl who smokes meth? What kind of person is going to tell people they smoke meth? Then who can put their reputation in jeopardy to say like, "Helloooooo, wake the fuck up! God spoke to me and I have a mother fucking message bitches! LOL." I would. So in order to understand the message you've got to understand yourself. No, you don't have to do drugs to find yourself. You can click below to start on your journey of discovering yourself and your divine purpose.

I love you. God bless.

**If you click the time, they're links to the messages of the universe. Lol.